Snow Flakes
by PenumbraDoll
Summary: "I am aware of the deaf heart I suddenly got, a lonely path my heart consumed long ago by ropes of stangeness and ice" Shippo wondered why the little note from his lover tingled some wounds that he didn't knew; existed. AU (YAOI) RATE M Shippo x Hakudoshi.


**SNOW FLAKES**

**Summarize:**** "I am aware of the deaf heart I suddenly got. A lonely path my heart consumed long ago by ropes of strangeness and ice" Shippo wondered why the little note from his lover tingled some wounds that he didn't know existed. Shippo x Hakudoshi (YAOI) Rated M**

**Ages: **_**Shippo: 19 - Hakudoshi: 17**_

**WARNING:**** This story contains YAOI and all of what rated M can care. **

**You've been warned. Can't handle it, then don't read it.**

**PS: I know some of you were aware of Snow Flakes but it happens that it won't be a lemon one-shot like my dear friend HakudoshiART promised, it wasn't her fault it was mine. I suddenly changed mind opinion and plot. OKAY this is the first chapter of god-knows how many chapters this new story will have. WHY am I writing this because I have been very absent and nobody have talked to me xP But for you to be sure I haven't forget about you. Okay…? **

**I'm waiting for time pass before I can upload Shattered and Tough ;) I'm aware I still have debts TCH you are so loud XD**

**Anyway… **

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own any character from the series **_**Inuyasha**_**; it belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and all the respective owners. This is merely for entertainment, because if it was mine I would make Shippo Hakudoshi hentai in every episode.**

**FINAL NOTE**** This involves sad themes and sexual involving references. This takes place in the actual era. Turn away if you disagree with the couple or any of the involving. FLAMERS; go TO HELL. All insults and bad reviews will be trashed off and blocked out.**

**DEDICATIONS: ****This is For Nally, Rose Cardigan, 777Chelita777, mafe7771, Ki2325, Walchtorne+guy, ELGOOG, VennecChiara, Milletone, Krillin, SIrasEidenm, Malvis6798+34, WAXWAN and all my follower and reviewers I love so much.**

**ROSE CARDIGAN I LOVE YOU; you are like my twin sister ;)**

**ENJOY!**

**SNOW FLAKES**

We both understood the cold phenomenon… Not that it wasn't interesting at all, it was. … It was just odd; the hour and the unknown reason… I was attempting against my will of keep on sleeping but instead my eyes were glued to his slender thin back as he watched the snow flakes fall upon our large glassy window.

Though I wanted to sleep after such a night of pleasant love-making, my eyes were glued on such a view after asking myself; "why is Hakudoshi awake to see the snow flakes to such hours of the late night?"

After a couple of long silent seconds of watching my lover's back, a soft silence broke off not just the actual silence but my mind's sepulchral silence.

A soft sigh escaped his lips and now my curiosity turned to what he was thinking instead of what was so interesting in looking at. What was it? What could his mind behold to be actually awake after such a tired not to say `consuming' night after all?

It was an odd frame to behold, not forgetting that he looked outstandingly beautiful as if he was tempting my reach, but the way he stood made me feel for the slightest of seconds that he was so far away from my grasp and so distant from my arms. He wouldn't notice me, as soon as I could comprehend his mind was beholding something deeper and as such; he would never tell me if I didn't fake catching him by surprise…. A good excuse I had; his lithe frail body, naked from behind should be tempting enough to make me want him crawl back to bed with me.

Yes that was what I wanted; I had an excuse and now the will, an actual force in my will since my eyes lingered over the perfect body and found I can't ignore the tingling urges to make him mine again but the more I thought about it, the more I doubted interrupting the angelical frame.

The way he supported himself by looking at the window made me think he was somehow troubled and that even if he faked those of his smiles he would never admit it but to himself. What if suddenly I interrupted the way he discharged himself from the possible troubles he was up to?

What if he found comfort by looking some cold snow flakes fall in front of him by his own? Actually…. I knew that was the true but why in the middle of the night? And why by his own?

It didn't bother me at all but I just perceived in my self a little deception as I always fought to gain my lover's trust and total fragility for me to take care of. I always knew a person such as Hakudoshi wouldn't let the challenge be easy, especially when he was actually a troubled breach, but to be honest I would prefer he woke me up in the middle of the night to talk about any problem and feel I am actually helping rather than wake up to see a pitiful frame of my lover finding comfort into the window's vision.

I didn't blame him… what if the troubled was with me? Or he felt something he actually couldn't tell me….?

That was a possible cause of his distance. I sighed in my mind giving in, ignoring my urges to stand and wrap my arms around his naked seductive curves and calm his aches and wounds.

I watched him again and I smiled.

Maybe the most adequate thing to do was to wait for him to be ready and lay down again by my side with his own will.

I just wished he could lay by my side and wrap my arms around his body…

My eyes adverted in his hair as I watched how the extraterrestrial fine platinum locks danced and caressed his face, neck and back when I wondered from where the breeze came in and just I noticed Hakudoshi was opening the window slightly.

Wasn't him freezing up? The wind was cold as ice and I knew well his skin was still in his warm and tender pitch after our hot session of sex. How was that I didn't see him shivering by the sudden change of airs?

He quickly turned around and I rapidly faked I was fast asleep. He walked through the room and I opened one eye to sneak on his naked body being clothed by my larger shirt. _Why is he dressing up?_ I wondered as I saw him dress up and I thought about how improbable was for him to crawl back to bed at least anytime soon.

I can't deny the frame was just too much… Errr… _Seductive?_

My shirt was over-sized for his tiny frame and I saw the sleeves just covered too much of his arms and the collar was too big for him that he showed his milky white shoulder. It was large enough to reach his thighs. I saw him peered from under the bed and reached for a short that I was sure it was him's because it did fit his size well… He looked adorable and I couldn't help but smile at the beautiful boyfriend life decided to gift me.

He reached for an over-sized sweater that I too recognized as mine. Obviously it didn't bother me, I actually was amused at how he looked and I was thinking how sexy he looked to get laid again. But those weren't his plans apparently. He finished adjusting the over-sized sweater to wear up high grey boots and finally a pink scarf which I contently recognized as his.

_Where is he going?_

I couldn't deny it; it bothered me when the door slammed shut. Why would my lover run away after a passionate intimate long night? Like a criminal in the night… Like some scared theft…

I sighed again. Actually and to be honest; more than thinking that he ran away, my mind focused in the most possible excuse: maybe Hakudoshi just wanted to walk alone for a couple of seconds and judging by how informal his clothing appeared he wasn't planning in going far. Yes, actually it would be rude if I just followed him… or it would be rude if I didn't?

Maybe he wished I was wake to circle him? Maybe he waited for me to sleep to walk alone?

Somehow my mind seemed to kick my guts barely on the insides as I tried to establish a deal with my option "A" and my option "B". Hakudoshi was surely the deepest person I have ever met.

To know Hakudoshi would take me a lifetime; I still couldn't tell if I knew him well… He never gives himself to be known… and that's the hardest for me. I do, I do let him know me. My weakness, my happiness, my all… he knows it all. I can't tell the same because when I think something about him he seemingly tends to change it to the opposite and it kind of frustrates me and drives me to a state that I rather not think about.

_Not right now._

My mind won't kick me in _those_ places right now. _Fuck off brain._

I needed to think of why is he gone? When will he come back? Is he alright? What is that my lover can't even sleep well after such a night?

My poor Hakudoshi; so tangled with deep webs that would never let him be free. A string so cold could never show mercy… A tortured existence, a dwelling heart that wouldn't be healed not even after such caressed from my hands… Hakudoshi was still captivated in the grasps of pain and I knew he would love to share his heart with me, I know he wanted it… I could read those eyes when he yelled inside to be set free from his own self…

He has always been his worst enemy…

Nobody ever told him so; it would destroy him completely if I did so. I knew it.

He would sometimes be lost in the horizon maybe wondering what it would feel to be a free bird… I often asked my self: _Free from what? _Sometimes the question would plop out of my lips and reached his ears. I would eventually curse myself from being loud in my thoughts and after hearing a soft sigh escape the red thin lips of my lover he would always give me the same mind-trapping answer: "From myself"

My mouth would keep shut after such dwelling words and I never understood its' real meaning... Now wondering I almost cipher… _Maybe Hakudoshi is aware he is his worst enemy and he is killing himself slowly, his mind is killing him_ or something in those lines. I chuckled, I never been so intelligent to cipher a brilliant one as Hakudoshi, but I thought it might get between my suspicious.

I could never understand him, that's clear. Maybe he even would never trust me to share his most sad fears and his most strange sadness and troubles. I wish he did…

My beautiful doll… perfect, ethereal and so pained… I wish a smiled crawled with softness to his red lips everyday, I wish I never see his sadness and I wish sadness didn't exist in his chest.

Now, here lying in our bed after seeing his frail structure ran off, after I analyzed his pained self and existence and after comprehending that he would never show me this by himself. I came into a conclusion; maybe I shouldn't ask but only follow to comfort him, to tell him I am still and always be here.

That from my mouth he would never ever hear any bashings towards him, that never in life would my words hurt his heart not even fighting and that myself would always be a shoulder where he could cry on and that he would be always be the great and strong Hakudoshi. That for me his wouldn't show misery but courage and everything he needed even if it hurt me; I would give in.

I swiftly stood up and walked through the dark room with only the moon reflection as a light, I walked and opened the walk-in closet and reached a shirt and a pair of pants not before sliding my underwear on.

I took a large sweater and placed it over my shoulder, not wearing it just to be sure…

_Where would my lover walk on?_

After a ten minute walking my heart was starting to pump painfully; I was totally worried. He wasn't anywhere to be seen and a beauty like him shouldn't be walking alone in the night fall. I should have realized it after he went away.

I should have reached for his hands and tell him unfortunately he wouldn't go out without me. Anyways… my other side of the brain told me he was fine and that Japan's crime wasn't as high as another countries and that I sure helped him by letting him go by his own.

My heart bumped in relief and I felt light-headed as my vision located a pink haired boy walking slowly with no path to follow, lost in his ideas and apparent troubles.

_He must be freezing._

I walked slowly until he was between centimeters from my reach and I wrapped his lithe body with the large sweater I brought up with me.

I felt him jump with surprise as he swiftly turned around just to meet purple-haze eyes with my green ones.

I felt him sigh in relief.

"I clearly appreciated my flashback, thank you…" He smiled and I felt him approach to me until his head rested in my chest and my arms rapidly wrapped him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you…" I mumbled and I felt his small hands grasping the fabric of my sleeves in a silent "no problem"

The silence kept both from talking as I carefully thought about my words to use them correctly no to frustrate him. Should I ask of why was he here? Why _am I here in the first place?_ I said I wouldn't disturb his peace... Oh! But a person can't deal with a problem by his ow-

"You came after all…"

His voice broke my entire mind battle to focus on the warm body I was hugging right away.

"Hah?" I asked dumbfounded as I tried to understand his words.

"I know you were awake when I dashed off, I thought it was a matter of seconds for you to follow me out… but then you didn't… I just wondered why?" he lifted his head to watch me with those alluring eyes though I didn't perceive he was mad. No, not at all.

"I am sorry I didn't... I just thought you could get mad if I and I actually then analy-" I felt soft warm lips covering mine successfully shutting me from keep on talking clumsily at him.

"I know what you mean, I just wondered why you took so long time to cipher that I needed you…" He talked softly after breaking up the wet and warm contact, his breath was ghosting against my lips and though the air was chilling as shit, the only warm spots I found right away were his mouth and breath which were comforting to be close to.

"I thought you needed space… you know I really wanted you back to bed…" I said as my hands went scratching the back of my neck nervously, I saw his now untroubled eyes looking my whole face and then he grinned happily.

"There is no time I would want you far…"

"Then why would you go away…?"

"It wasn't because of you… but what if I woke you up? "

I saw he placed his hands inside the pockets of his fluffy sweater.

"Why would you wake me up?"

And there was silence after that, my heart raced fast as his peaceful face grew into a slight annoyed one. Then my eyes focused in his eyes and I finally noticed they were puffy and it hit me; his eyes were puffy from crying.

I kept in silence.

Silence…

_Silence…_

Silence.

"Sorry…" I mumbled after I finally recollected everything in my mind.

He chuckled and he took my hands between his. "Doesn't matter…" he smiled "let's go home." He whispered and I cursed myself for not understanding first.

More silence crept over us as we walked hand In hand.

He was silent the whole trip down the little wooden house in the middle of the cold freezing dark forest.

"Are you coming back to bed?" I asked as my eyes latched to his lithe form, he simply nodded.

It was rare; it was odd to see Hakudoshi in a stumbled black hole and his eyes so lost in pure grief that I couldn't come to cipher, it was exhilarating and it got me mad that I almost dropped his hand in our silent walk to home.

Why couldn't I break his walls? Was it to hard to speak to me? Was I to untrustworthy? Why? Why did he kept up with this distance, yes it made us separated from a whole and I couldn't help but think it was by his own will.

Why is that?

Why?

Why the only true Façade actually real I could see from him is when he is in his climax pitch when we have sex. There, in bed is where he is actually authentic. But because you can't control body's pleasure because if it was in his whole control, he would fake he didn't feel stimulated by me. And that hurts; knowing he would hide from me no matter what. He fought with himself to hide… hide… and hide. Ached to not show any real emotion and though he sometimes felt as soft as feather to me, I knew better he is hiding something.

It hurts me to know he is hurt.

Why do I come to think about all this?

"_I never trust in nobody" _He once said that. I can quiet remember that… Yes it hurt me so deep because I do trust him.

"Yes, I guess so." He said simply.

"What?"

"You asked if I was returning back to bed: well yes, why not?"

_Ask yourself that Hakudoshi…_

"Sure."

More silence.

"Is there something the matters?" His soft cool voice ringed I n my ears and I looked back at him.

"No" I smiled, I wasn't a jerk either. He was crying minutes ago and I wasn't that of making him feel worst. One thing is that he didn't trust me and all and other was ignoring he was sad. I wasn't ignoring it, it didn't matter but he was still my little boyfriend and I wasn't that of making him feel neglected.

More silence.

"Hakudoshi…"

"Hmm?" He smiled at me.

"Do you trust me?"

My heart raced fast enough to be an annoying ache.

"No."

A breath was stuck in my throat and I found that I never asked him _that_ before and that if I never did it was because I was afraid of this answer.

We stopped walking and we were in front of the little house.

I didn't say a thing but I felt my heart ripping apart. I smiled at him.

"It's okay…" I reached for his arm and in a swift move I make him land in my chest.

I was not going to break him emotionally or either get mad or furious because of that. _I trust him. _That'_s _enough for me. If he didn't; well he found me untrustworthy and it wasn't his fault.

"I'm sorry…" He mumbled.

_Why couldn't I break his walls? Was it to hard to speak to me? Was I to untrustworthy? Why? Why did he kept up with this distance, yes it made us separated from a whole and I couldn't help but think it was by his own will._

_Why is that?_

_Why?_

My own thoughts hunted me, and they all suddenly got an answer, simply as that; Hakudoshi didn't trust me.

I felt his arms moving to place his hands on my shoulders.

Our eyes met and like always I could help but to think how pretty his face was.

"It's not your fault, you shouldn't apologize."

His face though it was smiling, his purple eyes were so cold and cool to me that I almost shivered more from his gaze than for the winter.

His eyes were so cold.

Why was he crying early anyways? It was sure he wouldn't tell me but I still wondered and worried.

My heart was jumping from one topic to another always rounding my lover and I couldn't help but feel so unsheathed.

His cries, his sudden escape, his lack of emotions, his coldness, his suddenly bumps of happiness and his sudden distance. It hurt.

I smiled at him and got his face near, I saw him close a bit his eyes as our lips met in a quick kiss. After we separated he smiled but I can't see that smiling so full of merriness when we started.

_What?_

_Why is that?_

_I still feel these butterflies around me._

_I still feel that aching and wild desire every time he is naked in front of me._

_I still melt in our kisses; being short or deep._

_I still feel my face light up when he hugs me…_

_I…_

_I still love him._

I see him turn around and walk inside the house. I follow.

He turns to see me and I see him chuckle and the sigh softly; _like if he just is being defeated._

Defeated.

_Defeated._

I see him walk to our bedroom and I follow. I sit on the bed of the dark room only illuminated by the blue moon's light.

He walks to the front wide window and places a hand on the glass.

Like if reaching something, reaching the moon? The horizon... _Liberty? Freedom?_

_Freedom?_

I walk over to him and circle his thin waist with my strong arms and he didn't latch his hand away from the glass, like persisting in touch the cold glass.

As I analyzed the scene; Hakudoshi is reaching for being away, in the night, down the moon… Away, drifted in freedom. FREEDOM. Who haves him caged? Me, my arms, my heart and suddenly…

I just knew what happened to Hakudoshi. I knew why he was crying…

Realization hit me.

_Hakudoshi doesn't love me anymore._

**()()()()()()()()()()()()**

**OKAY DON'T KILL ME IM THE ONLY WHO CAN FINISH THIS SHIT !-**

**Oh so well :D I made Hakudoshi's POV in Morpheus SOOOOO this time is Shippo's :D Okay don't kill me and all this story won't be THAT short xD You'll be impressed because Shattered is a bit that LONNNNNGGGGGGGG! Specially the smut ;D ALSO tough is a bit heart-wrecking because Shippo is a jerk and Hakudoshi is a hella bastard too ne ne ne don't think Hakudoshi will be the good-at-good NOPE I don't like when I receive Reviews like if I'm being unfair and they hate Antagonist Shippo so I'm making things just about bully but still being an ass! HAHAHA love my bewitched mind!**

**The work is already finished and I hope you like it so well I'll update as soon as I have time ;) Time is precious xD **

**SOOOOOO well, I have a few questions xD Chelita777 and mafe777 haven't talk to me and I am starting to suspect you suddenly hate me and also My lovelykii2325 and Walchtorneguy suddenly disappeared and well… I'm starting to think you all four are the same person; a fat, glasses-with, nerd single person who is faking all those extremely annoying and lovely personalities because is kinda suspectful you suddenly stopped talking :/ The only who kept me talking from all are NALLY, ROSECardigan and MILLETON ;( **

**What happened? Why you all four disappeared xD ANYWAYS! SO Waxwan I love you too and yes I'll b e watching the animes you asked me to see OH! ROSE I love you :D**

**The last I knew from extremely annoying walchy is that you broke with Ki, huh? Such a pester you two should get back together and all. WALCHY haven't talked but ki did tell me in a long-ago pm. Vv GET BACK TOGETHER!**

**And you chelita please say something! A hi would definitely work!**

**OH! Sorry for the problems in fanfic some reported that you can't post I my stories with an account xD try anonymous! I want review doesn't matter so**

**CIAO!**


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